25 Pure Tweets To Wash The Election Taste Out Of Your Mouth

Submitted by on Oct 27, 2016
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Bob Ross: *draws a branch*
me: nice
Bob Ross: *draws second branch* cause everyone needs a friend
me: *holding back tears* nice

— pvnkle (@pvnkle)

7.

My new hobby: finding incomprehensible diagrams on office whiteboards and adding alarming conclusions to them

— Damned Slime-Man (@danslimmon)

8.

Rare image of a shark stepping on a Lego.

— Robert Petersen (@Sonikku_a)

9.

My daughter brings a checklist to stores now and just makes random checks. It makes everyone uncomfortable.

— Bottlerocket (@bottlerocket13)

10.

Look, @Arbys, I’ll try your Smoke House, but there’s no need to call me names.

— Dave Cactus (@dave_cactus)

11.

My children gathered beside my coffin: She looks so peaceful. And that was her favorite dress.
Dead me sits straight up: IT HAS POCKETS!!!!!

— Courtney Enlow (@courtenlow)

12.

“i’ve been expecting-”
“no it is i who have been-”
“i expected you to say that”
“aha just as i expected

— ja red (@fashionhotstyle)

13.

more grateful than normal for @haleymlotek for introducing me to my new all time favorite google search

— meredith graves (@gravesmeredith)

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just noticed how the Cap’n becomes increasingly unhinged as the sugar content increases over the years

— Christopher Mims (@mims)

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Harry πŸ‘ Potter πŸ‘ Isn’t πŸ‘ Real πŸ‘ I πŸ‘ Just πŸ‘ Found πŸ‘ Out πŸ‘ I’m πŸ‘ So πŸ‘ Sad

— Drew Monson (@mytoecold)

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in the third grade i was obsessed with michael jordan so i carried a cardboard cutout of him around for a month

— irene liao (@ireneliiao)

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Carry yourself w/the confidence of a girl holding a massive owl.

— Rebecca Slatkin (@RebeccaSlatkin)

18.

I keep this pic of Terry Crews in my wallet so I can see it when I’m about to waste money on things I don’t need Iol

— Daniel The Goat 🐐 (@MrDanielCabral)

19.

How fast was this duck going?

— Scoots (@scootertooter7)

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this man is so sprung, ain’t nothing in the world she could say that could be that funny.

— melisandre (@_NoxyT)

21.

Rory Gilmore doesn’t know how to hold everyday objects, a series

— Jackson McHenry (@McHenryJD)

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— ️ (@mendesperry)

23.

favorite part of googlemaps is this man unzipping his cargo pants into cargo shorts at the grand canyon

— sarah jean (@sarahjeanalex)

24.

if pangolins had a catch phrase it would be “ok I guess that’s fine”

— scott Π² (@snazzmania)

25.

Pls look @ this picture of my dog if you’re having a bad day

— Cute EmergencyπŸŽƒ (@CuteEmergency)

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